Where to Live? Do Chinese and American Spouses Differ 住在那裡? 中國和美國人不同的想法

One of the biggest differences I have seen between Chinese and American spouses, that has been driven home by recent experiences, is where they like to live. This can make a big difference that can significantly affect happiness in the marriage 是婚姻滿意度的影響. A living space that can make one spouse happy can make another miserable 很慘.

American spouses tend to idealize living out in the middle of the countryside 遙遠的地方, away from it all, even if many cannot do so because of careers. Urban areas are often viewed as necessary evils at best, the source of noise, pollution and bad habits. That is I guess why suburbs 郊區 in the U.S. sprawl farther and farther as people seek peace and quiet while still being within (albeit long) commuting distance of jobs. Chinese spouses generally like to live on or near urban areas, where everything is convenient and where there is a lot of excitement and activity 熱鬧. Living in townhouses, condos or apartments are fine. Eileen Chang 張愛玲 expressed this preference in her accounts of living in Shanghai and the joys of apartment living 喜歡住在公寓裡. She felt that the sound of the passing streetcars was quite calming and reassuring.

I see this difference all the time. If the couple lives in the United States, the Chinese spouse wants to live in the Los Angeles, New York or San Francisco 大城市 where as the American spouse is eager to find that homestead deep in the mountains of Northern Arizona or grasslands of Kentucky 曠野.