Small Talk

Conversation is something we take for granted but it's really important in developing relationships. Do it well and people like us. Do it poorly and others will avoid us.

Tonight a Chinese friend of ours observed in American culture something I never thought about before. She observed that when American women who say overly optimistic things like "oh, I love your hair" or "your outfit is really nice!" it is just a conversation starter and nothing more. This insight has eluded many American men who feel as if their wives are primarily seeking affirmation.

I have noticed that there is no such similar ice breaker (no need for??) among Chinese women who get suspicious of such flattery unless it is genuine, "口是 心 非." My wife doesn't really pay much attention to what I have to say about her hair anyway though it does look nice. When it comes to fashion, men are to be seen and not heard.