Chinese Wedding Traditions 2: ‘Fun and Games’ with the Bride and Groom 鬧洞房

Last weekend we helped out in our friend’s wedding 朋友的婚禮. It was fairly elaborate with more than 200 people participating and more than 12 courses of food at the restaurant afterward. Our daughter was a flower girl 花筒 in the ceremony, walking up the aisle with the son of another friend of ours. That left me free to roam and take photos, testing the limits of this low light, high speed telephoto lens. As you can see by this photo of our younger son demonstrating a “bottoms up” toast 乾杯 with his glass for us, it works quite well.

At this wedding there was quite a demonstration of fun and games played with the bride and groom 新郎和新娘. The bride had to roll an egg 生雞蛋 up and down the groom without breaking it. Then she had to rub the hands of men lined up to determine which one was the groom. There were others, including the bride and the groom singing together and seeing how long the groom could stand on his hands 倒立. 鬧洞房 is an interesting tradition whereby the more intrepid members of the wedding party follow the bride and groom to their room. A group surprised this couple at their hotel room 大飯店的房間. There, in a wedding version of trick or treat, they pick out a certain number of further games and challenges, some of which can be downloaded 可以下載 on the web (email me if you want the link to 30 different types) for the newlyweds to complete before they will finally leave them to enjoy a peaceful evening. …or more likely fall asleep. This couple’s evening was over at midnight.

Writers Coming of Age in East Asia 成熟禮故事

I have read quite a few “coming of age” stories 成熟禮故事 of Westerners who spent a year or two, maybe five, in some major city in East Asia 留在東亞洲國家的大城市. There is an account by Robert Twigger, who learned aikido through a rigorous course in the Tokyo riot police course. Next, I will read a similar account by Matthew Polly in China. I also read an account previously about a writer’s coming of age story in South Korea as well.

It seems as if the major cities of East Asia in the 1980s and 1990s were to young American and European writers 年輕的美國和西歐洲的作者 similar to what Paris must have been to a former generation in the 1920s像巴黎對1920時代的作者有那樣的環境. They were places where a new generation of writers were coming of age.

There was something about the environment that leant itself to that type of lifestyle. They were outsiders in a society that was very different from their own and there is a certain freedom to this. There were no expectations of behavior since they were not expected to fit in. Whether through martial arts or some other art form attractive to westerners, these expatriate writers could also participate in the culture. Cities such as Tokyo, Taipei, Beijing and Seoul provided an environment where expatriate life could flourish. Money was easy to come by through teaching English 容易靠教英文來賺錢, something that most were able to do. And there were plenty of places to spend that money on drinking, various types of esoteric lessons on culture and interesting, out-of-the-way places to visit.

Birthday Video 生日的錄像剪輯

This is a video of my wife’s birthday surprise 使太太驚喜一下. We blew up balloons that are my wife’s favorite color, purple 她最喜歡紫色, and stuffed them in a closet by the door. She came home and after scaring her by use of party poppers, our daughter asked her to open the closet door. You can see her reaction.

This is my first attempt at posting video 第一次上載簡片 on this blog, so bear with me. I usually don’t like reading video on blogs for 2 reasons. The most important is that the reader cannot clearly see what is being posted 不清楚. Those freeze-frame photos that mark a video are blurry and extremely low resolution. The second is that these videos don’t always work on everybody’s connections, but this is a small file with good sound. Just click on the photo to get to the video.

Former Ministry Partners and Friends 以前的同工

We got together with former ministry partners this past Saturday evening. The couple, a pastor and his wife from South India 印度南部, were in charge of an international ministry. They are going to India for a while.

For almost 50 years every Friday night there was dinner, worship and a Bible study 差不多五十年每一個禮拜五晚上一直 meeting for people from all over the world. Anyone was welcome, regardless of station in life, age, education or views. The host was a woman who was a very loving person. I never met her husband, he passed away before I arrived on the scene, but I got to know her quite well. She cared a lot about people 關懷 and would often stay up until 2:00 a.m. or 3:00 a.m. to answer questions. I remember once a homeless man 無家可歸的人 arrived and was cursing to himself. She allowed him to stay there but said “XX, if you get ugly I am going to have to ask you to leave, but if you can control yourself you are always welcome here.” He quieted down and participated that evening.

That ministry is over. The woman has gone on to be with the Lord 搬家了, the house has been sold and the international ministry now takes a different form, but the legacy lives on in transformed lives throughout the world.

Chinese Idioms 成語

For some reason, this past month or two have been incredibly busy. Starting tonight, we have 5 separate activities before Sunday evening, 6 if we count our daughter’s ballet class 芭蕾舞班 as an activity. Some are special, such as seeing a friend off who will be leaving for India for 6 months. Fortunately, I just found out that I can take an online course at home 可以下載課程, instead of spending my whole Saturday in class! Maybe I can do my course online when I am on my business trip but at the bargain hotels I stay at I better complete it at home.

I was reminded once again when talking to my wife that idioms are one of the richest parts of the Chinese language. One well-placed idiom can clearly communicate better than a minute or two of speech. Since they are based on rote memorization 一定要揹書才能記住, idioms are also one of the most difficult parts of learning Chinese for those at an intermediate level.

It is true that we have idioms in English as well. Most languages do. For example, it is raining cats and dogs 倾盆大雨, does not of course mean that cats and dogs are literally falling out of the skies. The same is true for ‘throwing pearl before swine’ 對牛弹琴 or any of the other animal idioms we have in English. In Chinese, there are many more idioms and they are used much more frequently than in English. I believe this is because Chinese has a rich literary tradition that is common to everyone through memorization in learning. If you really want to impress someone, use one of these 4 character idioms.

Friends that Stay 留在這邊!

It’s always sad when we get to know someone, especially a really nice brother 兄弟 or sister 姐妹 in Christ, and then they leave for a job elsewhere. I understand, because we go back and forth to different places. Also, that is the nature of careers that sometimes span countries, but it’s still hard to say goodbye for the long term 捨不得. Well, we don’t have to do that with this couple. We are happy that the husband got a job not too far away so we will be able to visit them.

On other news with this couple, they have a new baby 兩個月 in this photo. Like most babies, she seems to look like the mother one week and her father the next week. In these photos she is actually looking a lot more like her grandmother 像她的外婆.

Where to Live? Do Chinese and American Spouses Differ 住在那裡? 中國和美國人不同的想法

One of the biggest differences I have seen between Chinese and American spouses, that has been driven home by recent experiences, is where they like to live. This can make a big difference that can significantly affect happiness in the marriage 是婚姻滿意度的影響. A living space that can make one spouse happy can make another miserable 很慘.

American spouses tend to idealize living out in the middle of the countryside 遙遠的地方, away from it all, even if many cannot do so because of careers. Urban areas are often viewed as necessary evils at best, the source of noise, pollution and bad habits. That is I guess why suburbs 郊區 in the U.S. sprawl farther and farther as people seek peace and quiet while still being within (albeit long) commuting distance of jobs. Chinese spouses generally like to live on or near urban areas, where everything is convenient and where there is a lot of excitement and activity 熱鬧. Living in townhouses, condos or apartments are fine. Eileen Chang 張愛玲 expressed this preference in her accounts of living in Shanghai and the joys of apartment living 喜歡住在公寓裡. She felt that the sound of the passing streetcars was quite calming and reassuring.

I see this difference all the time. If the couple lives in the United States, the Chinese spouse wants to live in the Los Angeles, New York or San Francisco 大城市 where as the American spouse is eager to find that homestead deep in the mountains of Northern Arizona or grasslands of Kentucky 曠野.

Sugar Apple 番荔枝

番荔枝, 釋迦, sugar apple, sweet sop, antemoya, cherimoya, or any of the other names that this type of fruit is called, it is good tasting. The flesh is a white creamy texture and it has a sweet perfumed flavor when ripe 甜度高. We got this tree-ripened 樹上熟的 specimen last weekend at a local farmer’s market and I took a photo of it before my daughter and I sliced it open and ate it. It’s an early crop.

To me, one of the joys of being in a place is the local produce since there is still so much localized genetic variety out there. We also saw locally-grown bananas which are better than the ones on the supermarket shelves of Western countries 樹上熟的水果比超級市場買的好多, but the sugar apple is more interesting and is associated with a special memory for me. I remember when I first lived in Taiwan enjoying a couple of these when I visited the rugged southeast coast. Taidong 台東 is the center of the commercial growing of the sugar apple in Taiwan. When they are in season there, we have driven through field after field to looking for a stand that will sell baskets of them to buy for friends.

Crane 白鶴

One would think that with the numbers of cranes in almost every country in the Pacific Rim, I would be able to get a good photo of a crane somewhere. Cranes have a significance in Chinese culture. They are a very common symbol in Chinese paintings, symbolizing wisdom 智慧 or longevity 長壽. Next to flamingoes 火烈鳥, and plastic lawn flamingoes ruined that a little for me though I get nostalgic a little for them now, cranes are one of the most elegant birds.

For some reason that white 白鶴 or blue crane 藍鶴 with nice plumage is only just out of the reach of my rather limited telephoto lens. Well, that was until yesterday. We took a mini-vacation down in the south for the weekend and Sunday afternoon I went on a photo expedition. As you can see, he (unlike most humans, it is the male bird that is more nicely dressed up 一般來講公鳥比較漂亮) was posing not too far away so I could snap a great shot of him.