Invitations in Chinese and American Culture 請客: 中國文化與美國文化

From my experience, invitations to dinner or a visit to a home are quite different in Chinese and American culture. In American culture, and I understand this varies quite a bit depending on the age group and region of the country, we tend to be more formal in our invitations. Especially, if say a husband and wife invites you to go to their house for dinner they want to know beforehand exactly how many people are coming. If it is a more formal get together, such as a child’s birthday party, there will be invitations 請帖 and RSVPs (respondez vous sil vous plais, HA! so those 3 years of French in junior high did have some use!)

Invitations in Chinese culture are rarely very far ahead of time, unless there is a specific reason to do so. Also, the number of people seems to be flexible as well. Sometimes fewer people will come and sometimes more will come than is expected. Last minute changes of plans that might annoy Americans are quite common, which is a nice norm for those like me who love to procrastinate. I also like the spontaneity. I never quite know what we are going to do when with Chinese friends because it depends on the group feeling at the moment. I remember we had quite a few good times driving to this or that event or going out to eat with friends at the spur of the moment.

The outlay of dinners at a host’s house are also different. At an American household, we at least have the aspiration to dinner with fine china 瓷器, table clothes 亞麻布 桌布 and nice décor even if it doesn’t always happen that way. At a dinner at a Chinese friend’s house the emphasis is on the good food and conversation, not the fine china. So don’t expect that formal elegant candle-lit dinner.