Friendship and Politeness: Chinese, American 友誼與禮貌: 中國,美國

If there is one thing that it is really hard for people to understand about other cultures, it can be found in navigating the shoals of friendship and politeness. In Chinese culture, spouses and friends do not need to be polite 不用客氣. In fact, frankness, arguing and even mild whacking can be seen as a sign of closeness 打情罵俏. Nothing bad is meant by it, in fact it is considered the sign of a healthy relationship. By contrast, politeness is for strangers suggesting distance.

It has for a long time been common to see Chinese women whacking their boyfriends as an expression of affection. This means she likes him. Although there are similarities as well, there are enough real differences 文化不同的地方 between Japanese and Chinese culture in this area that it can create clashes. A Taiwanese wife we know tells us that her Japanese husband always wants her to “be nice and polite” when arguing. A Japanese woman tells us that she when she calls a Chinese man pursuing her “crazy” 精神病!, it encourages him and doesn’t know why (crazy can be a term of endearment when a woman likes a man.) There is even an expression 撒嬌 that is hard to translate, but is a common expression of daughters to fathers.